The Holidays: What are we really celebrating?

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." - Baruch Spinoza

I just returned from a three day trip for a job interview, and am finding myself overwhelmed by all the things I wish to do before Wednesday to show my loved ones that they are truly loved.

I always have extreme dreams when it comes to presents. Last year I made mosaic trivets (from scratch - no pattern use here) for nine couples in my family and my fiance's family (do make sure to click on the last two links - they summarize the distinctions between our two families fairly well). This year I'm attempting to make close to 30 beaded bookmarks, and want to bake up a storm this weekend. This is in addition to the finals I need to finish grading, packing for our 2 1/2 weeks away, and a 500-word encyclopedia entry that is due by Wednesday.

All of this is making me question why.

Of course there are the reasons that I've learned through too-much introspection: I want to feel that I am an excellent traditional woman in addition to having a career; I want to give people nice things without going bankrupt; I really do wish that I had the time to explore my creative, crafty (not crafty) side more often.

However, although I was extremely proud of myself last Christmas when everybody liked my mosaics, I was distinctly not peaceful. I was stressed out, and quite frankly, obnoxious to my wonderful fiancee.

Thomas A. Kempis writes, "First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others."

I am no longer a Christian. I was for a long time (unlike most of my extended family), but am not anymore. But I still love the winter holiday season more securlarly. This time of year is a time of darkness, and a time of the coming light. It is a time to celebrate loved ones and bring light into their lives. I can think of no other way to do this than through peacefulness.

A Japanese proverb says, "One kind word can warm three winter months." The proverb does not say, "One Tickle Me Elmo doll can warm three winter months," but neither does it say, "One perfect present from Practicing Idealist can warm three winter months." Ultimately, I would rather take the kind word and the peace of my family, over any present, no matter how good it was.

So, I will probably be cutting back on the ambitious gifts. It may mean I'll spend a bit more money this year, or that my family won't get quite so many homemade gifts, but I'll have my sanity, and I won't be stressed out of my mind.

I believe in the light of this season: the physical light that will increase after the Winter Solstice, and the light that I see translated into love in the people around me (both stranger and not). The darkness will inevitably come (because we are talking about family here), but the light, at least for me, begins with peace.

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino